


Confessions

by YourZS



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 23:51:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/667895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourZS/pseuds/YourZS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You want so badly to just tell him, but you can't.<br/>Or rather, you refuse to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessions

"So I've been meaning to tell you... Basically I- well not really, but I-"

"C'mon dude just spit it out!"

Your jaw tightened as his words injected a nice little dose of icy fucking terror into your heart. You thought for a second that you were literally suffocating but it was just the usual lump of fear winding around your windpipe like a shitty little snake and giving it a nice big hug that you didn't even want.

No. Shit no. No no no nonononononono. No!

Not here. Not fucking now. Don't do this. Wait no, you can do this man. Just say it. Say it say it say it fucking say it already!

"Uh...Dave?"

Oh god no. Shit! No no no, fuck no, oh god oh fucking god no. Don't you do that John. Not with that damned voice and those big blue eyes and that messy black hair that sticks out all over the damn place. But oh god it looks so nice and soft and you bet it smells like peaches because he used that kind of shitty, fruity conditioner that you always made fun of, but you hope he never stops using it because you would definitely be fucking crushed.

And then your eyes fell to his lips. They were shiny and pink and his bottom lip jutted out in a little pout, and they were chapped as hell but they looked soft anyway. You didn't think lips could even do that like is that even legal. And they were open just the slightest bit, so that you could see the very edge of his front teeth poke out where they definitely didn't belong but looked perfect there anyways.

You think, wow what if I just kind of leaned in and put my lips on his lips and ran my fingers through his hair and maybe put my face in it a little to inhale the peaches and-

"Daaaave!" You snapped out of your daydreams to see his hand waving frantically in front of your face. "Are you going to tell me something or not, because I really-" And suddenly his face was in your hand and your lips were on his, moving together and god were they so soft you were practically melting into them. You don't even remember how it happened, but he was actually kissing back and his arms were wrapped around you. Oh god you were so happy you could die, and you couldn't keep yourself from smiling into the kiss, but then-

Then it was gone. And he was pushing you away and your whole world was crashing down around you, like your heart had been tossed right into the ocean and even though you tried to grab for it, it all happened so fast that before you could even think to move your arm, it was already sinking. In fact, it was already as far down as it could sink, all the way down on the ocean floor by now, all freezing and crushed under all that pressure and making a nice little nest in the sand.

"Ugh, gross Dave! You know I'm not gay!" You would think your eyes might be on fire but everything's too blurry to think.

"That's so fucking disgusting!." Now your cheeks are on fire too and you think you must be drowning because you can taste the ocean. " _You're_ disgusting." 

Nononononononononono stop please I love you, you're my best friend please don't leave me, please John.

But he was already gone, and you were alone, curled up on the floor and all you could see was black. The ground was so hard and cold and...

And a bed.

Your eyes clung to the pale light streaming from the window like a dedicated captain to his sinking ship. Except, relief was your ship, and it wasn't sinking so much as washing up on the shore of reality. And even though your cheeks were still burning with saltwater, your heart was no longer crushed under an ocean of rejection. Now, it was merely clouded in fear once again. He will never know how you feel. He will never know how you feel, because it wasn't worth the risk.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on here so try not to kill me for it's shittiness, alright? Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
